Men Can’t Boil Eggs!

Peter is our office junior here at If we were human we might call him our general dogsbody, but we are dogs and do not want to give him ideas above his station. Anyway it is Peter’s birthday today. Happy Birthday, Peter! To celebrate this we are going to write a blog post on a subject which he knows intimately and his performance helps prove our point.

Boiling an egg is not rocket science or the most difficult task in the world, but it is still too difficult for most humans and probably all men. We have sat under the kitchen table listening to criticism of Peter’s efforts at boiling zillions of eggs.

“Ugh! What’s this?”

-“It’s runny!” – “You wanted it soft.” – “Only the white, surely.”

“Oh, but it’s a nice soft boiled egg with a completely hard white bit and an even harder yolk.”

Sometimes these unsuccessful eggs cannot even be eaten by a human. That is great, as dogs are more tolerant of errors and can always eat what a human turns their nose up at.

An egg (probably correctly boiled but who knows)

An egg (probably correctly boiled, but who knows)

In Mr Jeremy Paxman’s book about the British Royal Family there is a story in which he claims that Prince Charles gets seven eggs boiled for slightly different lengths of time and then chooses the best. Prince Charles claimed this was completely untrue, but who knows. We have overheard humans say that if they had the money they would also boil the seven eggs and pick the right one. All we are saying is –  Prince Charles can afford the eggs.

You have probably been waiting since you saw this headline for precise and clear instruction on how to boil an egg. For instruction that are so perfect that even a man would be able to follow them, and produce the perfect soft-boiled egg. Unfortunately we do not know how to boil an egg either. Sorry. 🙂

Invasion of the Nordic Walkers

I am not exactly sure where Nordic walkers come from. I guess it is somewhere up near the North Pole. I can understand them wanting to leave the North Pole, particularly at this time of year when it has neither daylight nor warmth. However, a lot of them seemed to have come to my forest just outside Warsaw. This I cannot understand. You would think that if someone was trying to escape from the cold dark winter they would go somewhere like Australia where they could complain about the heat or even the South Pole which in January would be like summer in the North Pole. Instead they come to my forest where it is dark at 3.30PM and for the next few months will be pretty cold.


Nordic walkers in the forests of Warsaw.

Nordic walkers in the forests of Warsaw.

I have not yet seen a Nordic Walker with a dog so I guess they have left the dogs back in the North Pole. I very much hope they have someone looking after them.

The other thing I cannot understand about Nordic walkers is the sticks. Each of them has two sticks and they seem to make quite a bit of noise with them. However, they don’t seem to use the sticks for anything useful. They are pretty robust sticks and could easily be used for a game of fetch. Once when my pups and I met a group of Nordic people we tried to persuade them they could do this but they ignored us and went on their walk making far too much noise with their sticks.

An interesting observation is that on January 1st it looked like an entire Nordic city had moved into my forest while on January 2nd it was more like a town and it became a village the following date. There are now Nordic walkers from isolated dwellings. I guess this may have something to do with how humans approach New Year’s resolutions.

Happy New Year!