January 5, 2015 by Rusty Dog 0

Invasion of the Nordic Walkers

I am not exactly sure where Nordic walkers come from. I guess it is somewhere up near the North Pole. I can understand them wanting to leave the North Pole, particularly at this time of year when it has neither daylight nor warmth. However, a lot of them seemed to have come to my forest just outside Warsaw. This I cannot understand. You would think that if someone was trying to escape from the cold dark winter they would go somewhere like Australia where they could complain about the heat or even the South Pole which in January would be like summer in the North Pole. Instead they come to my forest where it is dark at 3.30PM and for the next few months will be pretty cold.   I have not yet seen a Nordic Walker with a dog so I guess they have left the dogs back in the North Pole. I very much hope they have someone looking after them. The other thing I cannot understand about Nordic walkers is the sticks. Each of them has two sticks and they seem to make quite a bit of noise with them. However, they don’t seem to use the […]

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December 31, 2014 by Rusty Dog 2

The intelligent dogs’ guide to New Year’s Eve parties!

It’s New Year’s Eve. All over the world people are planning to spend a night watching TV, darn a few socks and maybe get an early night. Well maybe a few people in Greenland are planning that, the rest of the human race is planning to have a party and the purpose of this blog post is to help us dogs enjoy the party. Good boy! Try and find out early whether your people are having their party in your house or going out to celebrate the New Year. If the plan is to have a party in your house then be a very well behaved dog for at least all of New Year’s Eve. If something happened on the 30th and you were told you were in trouble for a very long time do not worry. Humans have short memories and are always optimistic that a couple of good hours are an indicator of a brighter future. If the party is being held elsewhere you can do what you like as you will be locked inside when they are enjoying themselves. Inter-species French kissing is not something which all humans appreciate! They seem to want you to kiss them […]

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January 3, 2014 by Rusty Dog 0

New Year’s Resolutions

My mission, which I occasionally adhere to, is to explain the inexplicable. There is simply no explanation for many of the weird and wonderful things which humans do and the intelligent dog is better off not thinking too much about some of their strange habits. One of the strangest is that by January 3rd each year they will have broken the New Year’s resolution which they were claiming at midnight on the 31st would change their lives forever. What happens is this. The end of December comes and it seems like a good idea to get fit, get rich or be a nicer person. They get very excited and very happy and the brilliant idea of walking their dog becomes taking up running and then on midnight on New Year’s Eve they have made a resolution that they would run a marathon by the end of the incoming year. If they had simply made a promise to take us, their dogs, on longer more interesting walks we would have all been happy. If they had have made a promise to always have extra treats in their pockets for us dogs on these walks we would all be ecstatic. However, New […]

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December 31, 2013 by Rusty Dog 0

Happy New Year 2014

I have been taking dancing lessons in preparation for the New Year’s Eve party. Feel free to copy my steps. Happy New Everybody

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