The intelligent dogs’ guide to New Year’s Eve parties!

It’s New Year’s Eve. All over the world people are planning to spend a night watching TV, darn a few socks and maybe get an early night.

Well maybe a few people in Greenland are planning that, the rest of the human race is planning to have a party and the purpose of this blog post is to help us dogs enjoy the party.

Good boy!

Try and find out early whether your people are having their party in your house or going out to celebrate the New Year. If the plan is to have a party in your house then be a very well behaved dog for at least all of New Year’s Eve. If something happened on the 30th and you were told you were in trouble for a very long time do not worry. Humans have short memories and are always optimistic that a couple of good hours are an indicator of a brighter future. If the party is being held elsewhere you can do what you like as you will be locked inside when they are enjoying themselves.

Inter-species French kissing is not something which all humans appreciate!

They seem to want you to kiss them but when you try and find that morsel of a snack hidden at the back of their teeth they are very likely to scream. They will usually say something about it being disgusting and “you wouldn’t know where that dog puts its mouth”. The problem may in fact be that they do know. Anyway a polite lick is as far as you should go unless you want to spend the party in the back yard. This is particularly important advice for puppies.

Noise Annoys!

It is obvious that dogs who have found themselves “invited” to a New Year’s Eve party could find themselves quickly uninvited if they start barking or attract too much attention. However, there is another problem with New Year’s Eve and that is fireworks. I think no dog has ever figured out why humans like these incredibly noisy horrible things. Even if a New Year’s Eve party only extends to three people, a stick of celery and a glass of water there will be fireworks. Wear ear muffs and stay indoors when the people are going “Whoosh” and “Gosh” in the garden.

Beware of dancing humans!

Dogs just lie on the floor, legs upwards and sort of the scratch their back in what used to be called a groovy fashion. Pretty simple.

Humans are different. They make things complicated. They insist on dancing to music and try to look good while dancing. It is also unbelievable how much amnesia helps human dance. The last time some of them danced would have been at a Christmas party. A week ago. Despite the fact they should remember how this went, they will get up again at the New Year’s Eve party.

Dogs, be warned.

When the opportunities arises eat, drink and be merry!

The one positive things about humans dancing is that if they all get up there could be an excellent opportunity to check the food possibilities. At some stage you will probably be caught devouring someone’s sandwiches but if you make sure you are not caught until late in the evening and not caught by one of your humans then you will probably get away with it.

Happy New Year!

2 thoughts on “The intelligent dogs’ guide to New Year’s Eve parties!

  1. Funny. My old boy wishes he’d had this advice prior to New year. He is used to his humans contorting to all conceivable poses in the effort to avoid him as he lies in the most danced upon spaces. He hadn’t bargained on the others however with the dancing.

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